…DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!
Life was good. After years of cohabitation, my wife and I had settled on a single brand and variety of shampoo. I could even be relied on to purchase a bottle of shampoo without coming home with the wrong item. (Despite the fact that I have thinning hair and my wife, great flowy tresses, we could use the same product.)
It was a blissful, idyllic age where children played in the park and Dr. Ruth hawked its sensual qualities.
But, damn you Clairol. You just had to change it. Not just eliminating my particular favorite flavor of Herbal Essences. Not just changing the bottle, either. You had to go and #^@%! the whole product line.
No more could I purchase shampoo based on the type of my hair. No, now I have to purchase a product based on how it complements my attitude. I used to be the green bottle guy. Now, I’m Drama Clean or Body Envy or Hello Hydration.
I’m no marketing genius, but Herbal Essences already had a great identity and very-much recognizable bottle. I went to the store last night and searched up and down the shampoo aisle for the signature bottle before reading a sign telling me that, indeed, these bright Fruitopia-themed abominations were my shampoo brand of choice.
I ranted a bit in store, joined by a few others also lamenting the changes. Nobody could figure out which ones to buy. I opted for Drama Clean – hoping they hadn’t changed the formula too much and taking heart that, since it was on sale, I wouldn’t suffer too much.
Maybe they had to change something. Target had done a pretty good job with their generic version, but we still preferred the original.
Mr. Clairol, I did not leave Herbal Essences.
It left me.