…or, rather…MASS HYSTERIA!!1!!!!

Over the weekend, a meteorite hit outside of a remote Andean town. Villagers claimed that the meteorite — which must have been fairly sizable to leave a 100 foot-wide crater — emitted a strange odor that sickened close to 600 people. They claim it caused headaches, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. [link]

Now BoingBoing is citing Andromeda Strain. Instapundit (well a reader) alludes to a zombie exovirus. But, call me crazy, I’m putting my money on mass hysteria.

Now, admittedly, I’ve got no evidence to support this little. I’m just going by the account on MSNBC, but as much as I’d be geared toward a good zombie war, headaches and nausea are two common signs of mass hysteria.

A big freaking huge rock (100 foot-wide crater must have been some big bang) falls from the sky and I wouldn’t be surprised if a little panic didn’t set in. And not to pick on the poor Peruvians, either, because mass hysteria could and does happen everywhere. I mean, we tend to overlook hysterical episodes like epidemics of Satanic Ritual Abuse here, but laugh when we read that Africans think their schlongs are targets for evil magic.

Howstuffworks has a good column about the phenomena — coincidentally using an example of 600 “sick” Mexican girls. Here’s a news item from an episode from Belgium in 1999, where cases of illness far outweighed the possible effects of a contaminated batch of Coca-Cola.

Of course, this might be all wishful thinking on my part, since I’d rather people suffer mass hysteria than an alien death plague. (Zombie outbreak might be fun, but not anymore since having a kid. That said, the first Peruvian cannibal story I hear, I’m loading up on canned goods and firearms. )

Still, it isn’t beyond the realm of possibility to suppose that prion-like particles or even microbes could have ridden down from space. Let’s hope not.

However, going by the entirely a-scientific philosophy that life is always more interesting than you think but rarely more exciting — I’m going with the panicked populace theory. Of course, that doesn’t mean I won’t look both ways for the living dead before running out to the gym tomorrow morning.

Speaking of which, g’night!

UPDATE: Holy #$&! Glenn Reynolds linked to me, how cool is that. Hi Insta-readers!

Maybe I should blog about how my building’s security took away my 20 year-old swiss army knife this morning — even though, because I can’t find my ID, my bag has been going through the x-ray machine every morning for a week without incident. (Whoops, just did blog about it.) I think he’d like that kind of story. Funny part was how the guard couldn’t open the blade (I don’t think I’ve used the blade on that in ages) yet still insisted it was too long to pass through.

Years now of reading about similar incidents, I was sure they’d tazer my ass…or cause a bigger stink, at least. Turns out they’re just going to hold it until the end of the day, but they gave me a good finger-waggling lecture about how naughty it is to bring your Weeblos-era MacGyverknife to work. It is going to make it awkward to go out for lunch today…

UPDATE 2: UPDATE HARDER

According to this story, the crater is only 50 feet wide and only 150 people have been “sickened” by the deadly gas from the Martian tripod.  But now, the story talks about skin lesions and luminous materials. Radioactive, perhaps?

Still, I’m sticking with mass hysteria until I see reports of Radioactive Incans flying over the countryside, murding thousands with their laser eyes.