Seriously, James, there’s a reason our exploration of the ocean’s depths is, in your estimation, “piss poor,” and you say so why yourself: 16,000 pounds of pressure per square inch, or roughly 1,088 atmospheres of pressure. One atmosphere is the average pressure of our atmosphere on your bitty head at sea level. Now consider how much 1,088 atmospheres would totally screw with your sinuses.
Still, look at the crazy man and his magic underwater pressure cooker.