Sometimes the secret to puppy hunting in Jenkintown boils down to two things: luck and bait. Well, not so much bait as bribe. In order to get this family stop their evening walk, we provided Dum Dums.
We were headed out the door, lollypops dangling from our lips, as Jake and his family passed. I felt bad not offering them a treat, so I told them to wait, ran back inside Stinkbug Manor, through the kitchen and out the side door in case Benny (who gets into the picture, as you can see) decided to bolt down the shared drive for the neighbors pond.
They fished their wish from the bag of Dum Dums — one chose butterscotch, on purpose! — and posed Jake for the shot.
(No, this isn’t some sort of extreme facepainting, I pawed out the girl’s face, just in case her mother isn’t as reckless as I am in plastering my kids’ gobs all over the Internet.)
Jake (seated on the driveway in the picture to the right) is some sort of pit bull mix thingamabob. I don’t know for sure if I bothered to ask. I was just grateful to get the shot…and to dispose of some of these godforesaken butterscotch Dum Dums.
Seriously, man, every the kids reach into the big bag of Dum Dums (Dum Dums: a sack of stupidity!) that the missus bought for no defensible reason, they pull out some flavor like Butterscotch or Banana Rumpus or, worse, a mystery flavor, which is usually Butterscotch. Now, I don’t mind the occasional butterscotch hard candy, as I’m old, but few kids enjoy candy that actively rejects the concept of “sweet.” Still, I let the kids pick their own. I’m their father, so they should get used to disappointment. Here’s a freebie for Spangler Candy, a new tagline: “There’s a heaping dose of reality in every handful!”
Then again, I enjoy the stick. I don’t know about you, but lollypops with plastic sticks just aren’t the same. You get Dum Dums for the candy, but you stay for the lingering oral fixation and the fine gnawing sensation you can only get from tightly-wrapped paper.
Photo courtesy of Julia Rose Lester.
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